"25"

A quarter of a century has passed me by,

All of it just in the blink of an eye ...

It's been a roller-coaster of a journey all the way through,

A never-ending adventure starting each day anew.

Today, I take some time out and ponder about it all,

Of transpired events in these 25 summers, winters, springs & fall.

I look at what has been achieved & what's yet to be done,

There've been a few regrets too, though I'd hoped there'd be none.

It's not just about things but people too that I've met thus far,

The people that have either left an imprint on me; or left a scar.

It's all about loving your parents & family is what they say,

With their blessings & His grace, success has always come my way.

How could I forget the friends & foes that came into my life,

Some gave me happiness, whilst others just brought me strife.

I sure have caused a few heartbreaks; and got my heart broken too

A tryst with love that I've been waiting for, is now long overdue.

Yet, I am content with the way life is moving right now,

And there's a burning desire to freeze this time somehow

I don't want to move forward so there would never be a past

The present : all i hope and wish is that, it would forever last.

Yet, I know that the future will be here all but in a few clicks,

Today I have turned 25, and tomorrow I will be twenty-six :(

As I said, it's been one helluva blink of an eye,

And an entire quarter century has just passed me by ...

Unsaid Words

Try as hard as I may,
I just don’t seem to find,
Words that could go a long way,
In helping me to make you mine.

Moments have been spent thus far,
Without ever letting you know,
Just a smile of yours lights up my day,
I just couldn’t tell, I just can’t show.

Feelings that I’ve tried to hide,
My eyes always did reveal,
Yet you never took notice of them,
Never looking beyond the veil.

Hope to tell you what’s there in my heart,
Before the day when I’m gone & dead,
Yet nothing seems to come out ever,
And just three words remain ... unsaid.

Out Of Hibernation ... With IPL & IPL !!

Truth be told, I have been a bit lazy and have been putting off posting something here for quite a while now. Thought it was high time that I did post something or the blog might start feeling ignored and neglected :) So, here goes...

Well, was thinking of something suitable to write about and as it so happens, 2 things have gripped the nation this past month or so and a lot has been written about both by my fellow bloggers as well as newspapers / magazines etc. For those who may not have guessed it by now, I'm talking about IPL and well, IPL!! Confused? Don't be. I mean, of course you know about THE IPL that’s currently on in South Africa & is nearing its business end what with the semi-finals and the grand finale coming up.

 A lot of jokes were cracked when it was announced that the 'Indian' Premier League would be held, not in India, but abroad. It isn't hard to understand at all why this lucrative event was shifted rather than being cancelled or postponed. It is money that's driving the game today and nobody who's associated with the IPL (that has the backing of the cash-rich BCCI) would've liked a damp squib after the success of the league last year. And so, off the circus proceeded to the Rainbow Nation.  As for me, I really don't care whether they conduct the Indian T20 league in South Africa or Solomon Islands. So long as I'm getting my share of the entertainment... he he

Anyway, am glad to see that Delhi Daredevils have performed well in this edition thus far and have already made it to the semis. Hope the team can go one better this year and win the league rather than stumbling in the semis like last year.

Now, as for the other IPL that you may be wondering about, it's the bigger and more important circus that played out closer home – the Indian Political League. In what is the world's longest electoral process, Indian went to polls to elect its new PM for the next 5 years (hopefully!). The past one month has been entertaining to say the least, what with most major publications carrying articles day-in, day-out speculating about who will form the new government at the centre.

Delhiites voted from their respective constituencies on 7th May. For a lot of people, it was a once-in-a-five-year chance of bringing about a difference to how this country should be run (yeah, right!), for others, it was merely a holiday. Well, I know a lot of people - friends, relatives et al - who went and cast their vote and felt proud afterwards, I on the other hand, did NOT vote in case you are wondering. Ummm ... let's just say that Indian politics just brings out the cynic in me and rather than voting for someone with a history of crime, someone who can’t write his own name or someone with one foot in the grave, I simply choose to not vote. I know that some may criticize this decision of mine. As a counterpoint, I'd just phrase something here that my Mom once taught me - "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king". To conclude, I feel that till the time the Indian political system remains a quagmire as it is right now and till the time that 'one-eyed' person comes along who's worth voting for, I'll be an abstainer for sure.

कल ही की बात है ...

कल ही की बात है, जो तुम हमारे थे

ना जाने क्या हुआ, हम हो गये जुदा

दोनो में आ गये, क्यूँ हैं ये फ़ासले

खुशियाँ थीं कल मगर, अब हैं शिकवे-गिले

कल ही की बात है ...

कल ही की बात है, तुम थे जब मेरे पास

कुछ भी नहीं है अब, जो तुम नहीं हो साथ

तनहा अब तेरे बिन, लगती है ज़िन्दगी

दिन तो कट जाते हैं, रातें कटती नहीं

कल ही की बात है ...

कल ही की बात है, आँखों में ख्वाब थे 

चाहत के सँग-सँग, दिल में अरमान थे 

सारे सपने वोह आज, अश्कोँ में बह गये 

टुकडे अरमानों के, बाकी बस रह गये  

कल ही की बात है ...

Triskaidekaphobia

It's that day of the month again when certain paranoid people start looking over their shoulders from time to time to make sure everything's alright... It's 13th April today & here I am with a new post on the irrational & exaggerated fear of the number "13"- also scientifically known as Triskaidekaphobia. A specific fear of Friday the 13th is called Paraskavedekatriaphobia or Friggatriskaidekaphobia (he he... quite a mouthful and tongue-twisters , aren't they?)

A well known fact is that many people are superstitious when it comes to the number 13 (often termed as "unlucky thirteen"); the 13th of every month is such a dreaded day for some that they actually call in sick to work rather than take a chance with bad luck. More prevalent in Western culture, the fear of number 13 has caught on in other countries of the world as well with movies like Friday The 13th revolving around the phenomenon popularising the issue.

Though historically speaking, people have been scared of "13" for a long time now. There have been all sorts of rumours and  stories about it's origin. One such populist view is that it owes its emergence to Christianity, wherein there were supposed to be 13 guests at "The Last Supper" with Judas being the 13th person there. Moreover, many people believe that Adam & Eve were expelled from Eden on the 13th day since life as we know it began on this planet.

This number has such a hold on people from the US & Europe that a lot of companies have to take this factor into account while designing their strategies. Skyscrapers in a lot of countries have no 13th floor, Hotels sometimes don't have a room numbered 13, Flights of many airlines skip seat no. 13 & jump directly from 12 to 14 etc. Many people do not fly on the 13th, irrespective of the fact if it's a Friday or not, and people feel that weddings, the start of vacations, and major purchases should not be done on the 13th day of any month.

A study has proclaimed that every year companies in the US lose about $800 to $ 900 million due to people avoiding any  business transactions on the 13th of the month. An interesting bit of information I came across while surfing the net was that Brussels Airlines had to change its logo after superstitious passengers complained quite strongly about the 13 dots that were used to create the letter "B" in their logo. They actually changed the logo & it now has 14 dots.

Well, talking about myself, I really don't know or can't say if I have Triskaidekaphobia or not. I personally enjoy the unknown  of what could possible go wrong on the 13th of any month more than I fear it. Other than some minor incidents in my life, they have proven for the most part harmless. What about you people? Would love to hear your experiences about Friday the 13th or any incident related to the number "13" that may occurred sometime in your life?

PS: I leave you with these interesting tid-bits I came across about the number 13 ...

1) John Mayer had 14 tracks on his album Room for Squares, although the 13th is 0.2 seconds of silence and is not listed on the album cover.

2) Infamous serial killers Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer and Theodore Bundy all have 13 letters in their names.

3) In Formula 1 racing, there is no car with the number 13. The number has been removed after 2 drivers were killed in crashes - both driving cars numbered 13.

4) You may remember the disaster that befell NASA’s space shuttle, Apollo 13. An explosion in the fuel cells of the service module severely crippled the spacecraft. Did you know that Apollo 13 left our planet on the 13th hour? 

5) Numerologists consider the number 12 as being a complete number, as there are 2 cycles of 12 hours in a day, 12 months in a year, 12 signs of both the eastern and western zodiacs etc. To exceed this number by one is to go beyond completeness and perfection.

"Ye Waala Suna Kya?" ("Have You Heard This One?")

No matter all comments & remarks made to the contrary, there's no denying the fact that we Indians just love to gossip. Period. And it's not just the women-folk who partake in it religiously (as the legend goes!), it's the guys too who are equally neck-deep in it. Though the subjects we "discuss" about may differ at times, when it comes to gossiping, it's like we've all "been there, done that". Yeah, you could say the affliction is widespread. And oh yes... it is highly infectious! I'm sure we all know that now don't we ;)

Sneaking, lying and cheating among friends or acquaintances make for the most savory material of course, but often topics like broken marriages, failed relationships, messy divorces, office politics, school / college happenings, celebs' secret affairs to What's wrong with someone's sex life (ahem!), Who's dating who, Whose car window got smashed by whose kid, Whose bird got eaten by whose cat (lolzz) et al are popular... I mean people just love blathering about anything and everything under the sun... And once they start there's no stopping ‘em... one thing leads to another and another and another...

Well, things stand such that some researchers & social scientists now believe that gossiping is not just a trivial pastime but a way of life... a means essential for human beings' social, psychological & even physical development (yeah right!) … And the advancements in technology (e-mail, texting / messaging) & the advent of social networking sites have ensured that people have several avenues to achieve this... er, 'social development' of theirs...

At the risk of sounding partial & a bit sexist maybe, have to admit that women are so much more skilled at the art of gossiping than men. They have an innate ability to make even the dullest & most drab piece of news items spicy & entertaining. 3 factors that contribute immensely to this phenomena, in my opinion - highly animated tones while gossiping, plenty of details (sometimes embellished with loads of imaginary stuff :P) and last but not least... the enthusiasm with which they seek & give 'feedback' :) But yeah, a lot of guys are learning the tricks of the trade fast & guess it won't be long before they can pose a serious challenge to gals for the moniker of the "best gossiper around"...

Most gossip takes place behind the back of the person who is being gossiped about... though we are aware about what we are doing is incorrect but then there is an eagerness to do so and we truly love it. It stems from the thrill of doing something a bit naughty, talking about people's 'private' lives – well, it just can't be helped, all humans have this built-in, subconscious need for taking risks & doing things we aren’t supposed to. Some reasons why people gossip: plain & simple curiosity, general tendency, personal interest, dislike of someone/something etc. Whatever be the reason, admittedly gossiping is real fun, a fun that everyone loves to experience & be a part of.

As a concluding note, well, let me just say that before starting to gossip always think that it shouldn't hurt someone's sentiments. Gossip should consist of light, fun-filled banter meant to de-stress & relax frayed nerves and not something that makes you feel guilty in the future about the things you said about someone... on that note, I end this piece. Keep yakking people... & by the way, "Did you hear this one ……???" :)

MBA ... Been There, Done That

It's the last day of March. And I've just given the last exam of my life as a student ...

Seems like a phase of my life has just ended. 19 long years have been spent being a student. And it all culminated today here at SIBM where I just gave (hopefully!) the last exam of my life ... Yes, I'm now an MBA - a "Manager By Accident" if you may :)

A journey that began in the kindergarten section of a school back in Delhi has ended here in Pune; at one of the premier B-schools of the country.... or has it? Guess it could also be interpreted as a harbinger of change, a sign of new beginnings, a start of a new phase of my life ....

Be that as it may, I stop and ask myself ... "Am I ready for the new & probably much bigger tests that life may have in store for me"? Well, I guess that's a tough one, but hopefully like all things have come to pass, I'm sure I'll be able to face up to the challenges of anything and everything that life comes up with.

Anyway, the immediate next stop: Home! ... Yeah Mom, I know you guys are waiting .... don't worry, it's just a matter of a few hours more ...

Oh and yeah, once I'm back, will have a month and a half to chill out and catch up with old friends (something that's long overdue), before I start as an MT (er, Management Trainee for the uninitiated) at Coca-Cola India.

To conclude this piece, here are a couple of lines from an accomplished poet ..... Divya Prakash Dubey, my batchmate and a dear friend who summed up all our thoughts about life at MBA in his poem ....

"Jab Office Mein Ghanton Padega Rukna,
Tab Sawa Ghante Ke Lectures Ki Bahut Yaad Aayegi"

(When We'll Have to Stay for Hours on End at Our Workplace,
Thats When We'll Remember & Miss These 1.15 Hour Lectures ...)

PS: for more on DP's work, check out: http://esakyunhotahai.blogspot.com/

Irrepressible Paranoia

Something just doesn't feel right today,
The bright day seems like a dark night today,
Not too many things matter much anyway,
But even things that do, ain't alright today

Something's tormenting me in my mind & soul,
Donno what is it that's scaring me to the core,
There's this voice at the back of my head,
Telling me things it's never told me before

These voices inside are brutally pointing out,
The mistakes in life that were made by me,
There's this guilt crawling beneath my skin,
Trying to burst out, Trying to break free

I've tried and I've failed ... and I've tried again,
To drown all noises comin' from within,
I'm left with a nothingness inside of me,
And all of my walls seem to be closing in ...

I'm imagining things now where there are none,
There are shadows creeping up beside me,
Whispering in my ears and letting me know,
That I will never be what I want me to be.

There's nothing that could rid me of this paranoia,
There's nothing at all that can make it go away,
I knew it right from the beginning, now didn't I?
That something just doesn't feel right today ...

Prelude to Paranoia :)

Well, this word ... "Paranoia" ... has somehow been recurring & just lodged itself in my mind these past few days, refusing to budge. And the fact that I have this friend who's been feeling slightly paranoid about a particular thing hasn't helped matters too ....

Anyway, did some search on Google (where else :P) & encountered some interesting stuff on the topic ... For starters, found this on Merriam-Webster's online dictionary ...

Main Entry: para·noia
Pronunciation: \ˌper-ə-ˈnȯi-ə, ˌpa-rə-\
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from Greek, madness, from paranous demented, from para- + nous mind
Date: circa 1811

1 : a psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur usually without hallucinations

2 : a tendency on the part of an individual or group toward excessive or irrational suspiciousness and distrustfulness of others

Now, apparently there's a hierarchy for paranoia that also exists. In other words, there are different levels at which a person can be classified as being paranoid. Well, take a look ...

Oh, and yeah, before i forget, something else came to my notice ... a lot of poetry has been written before on Paranoia ... not to mention some famous songs by rock bands of international repute - Black Sabbath (Paranoid) and Linkin Park (Papercut), to name a few - have explored this theme. And, one could also point out the movies that have been made on the various forms of paranoia - from mania to schizophrenia :)

To conclude, am sure the title of this post might evoke a question or two ... well, let's just say that my next post will answer 'em & clarity shall reign supreme :P

Where Are We Heading To ???

My soul stands still,
In the abyss of your dreams,
Where heaven stops ...
And hell begins,
Where angels fall ...
With their bloodied wings.

I am not talking about insanity,

Nor is this just an imagination,

It is right here on Earth,

That intelligence bites,

And technology kills ....

It is right here on Earth,
That we are digging our own graves,

And submitting before the Satan,

Whatever has been bestowed on us,

Without the slightest notion that,

That day is not far away,

When The powers above wreak havoc on us,
Turning us all into dead carrions,

And cleansing this Earth of all its scum,

For making it a new & better place to dwell .....

PS: The unnecessary bloodshed, the unending enmity & ill-will between communities & nations & above everything else, the dark spectre of terrorism will probably ensure that the Biblical prophesies regarding Judgment Day might come true sooner than expected. I know it's a nihilist & pessimistic outlook but there's no evidence to the contrary. People still long for that iota of joy in this strife-torn world of ours .... May God bless us everyone with the happiness that we desire ... and deserve.

Circle of Life ... @ SIBM

It just feels like yesterday that I joined SIBM for my MBA. And here we are today.... at the end of our spool ... bidding farewell to each other. And it's kinda ironic that it is all ending at the very place it all began: Manas Resorts.

Yeah, am talking about the venue for the freshers' party we had back in the summer of '07. And today, we had a fitting end to a 2-year stint here that was punctuated by both highs & lows; not just for me but a lot of other people, I guess. And now that life has come a full circle, I'm sitting here in front of the computer screen pondering about what all I've gained & what all I've lost these past two years.

Well, truth be told, the positives fairly match up to the negatives (at least for me!) and though I hate to admit it but yeah, will surely miss certain aspects of life here at SIBM.... both of the 1st year spent at "Kallu Mama's Kholi" in the main city and a 2nd year spent at a residential campus at the scenic Lavale countryside.

The question that now arises is not "Will I miss something when I'm outta here?" but "What will I miss?" .... ummm, well, things I'll miss the most (not necessarily in the same order!):

... the countless hours spent at NCC / Roll House with friends

... the innumerable CounterStrike sessions played on the LAN

... the night-time movies accompanied by the midnight snacks :P

... the once-in-a-lifetime [sic] & unique experience of Room # 4

... the coffee in the evenings with friends at the Coffee Shop / Zaika

... the "anytime, anyday, just-like-that" boozing sessions

... the movies at E-square / Gold Adlabs with friends

... the restaurants at FC / JM, Bat-Loi, Burger King, Zamu's et al

... the nigh-time bike rides back to Lavale with my "new" friends :)

And of course, last but not the least, won't forget some of the people I've come to know and care about these past 2 years. MBA would've been so dreary without you guys!

Oh yeah, well, before I forget (can't actually!), I'll of course be missing the presence of someone who I met in my 2nd year. Well, I so really wish in retrospect that I could've known you more & be better friends but I guess one stupid mistake changed everything, ain’t it?

Anyway, life as a show has to and does move on ... and so, as I said, here we are, the batch of 2007-09 saying "fare thee well" (with mixed emotions) to a place which, love it or hate it, I'm sure none of us can ignore ...

Flirting With The Ambiguous

The world is wrapped in a cottony blanket.
A cocoon, spun in a ghostly web so fine,
that no single thread can meet the eye,
but fades away in haste when grasped.

My love seems just like the world,
wrapped in a fog so dense that no eye can pierce it.
It fades in the distance,
full of silent, empty spaces beneath the trees.
Time is it's greatest cover and mystery it's best shield ...

ना साथी है, ना है मंजिल...

This song is dedicated to all those people who have ever been in love but never could manage to express it to the person they should have .....

ना साथी है, ना है मंजिल,
तनहा है मेरा यह दिल,
दिल से निकले यही सदा,
कभी तू मुझसे आके मिल ...

ना साथी है, ना है मंजिल ...

जाने क्या कुछ कहने था,
आया मैं तुम्हारे पास,
कुछ भी कह नहीं पाया,
मेरे होंठ गए थे सिल ...

ना साथी है, ना है मंजिल ...

तेरे जाने के बाद सनम,
तेरी यादें ही रह गयीं,
मेरा मरना हुआ आसान,
और जीना हुआ मुश्किल ...

ना साथी है, ना है मंजिल ...

कुछ नहीं है पास मेरे,

प्यार नहीं तेरा साथ अगर,

क्या रखा है ज़िन्दगी में,

जो तू नहीं इसमें शामिल ...

ना साथी है, ना है मंजिल ...

We Move On ....

Time, with fingers that weave misty minarets,
And speaks in secret alphabets,
Never ending, never ceasing,
It creates & it produces immortal thoughts,
And is the harbinger of change.
A thought, an idea, a season, a color,
And a breath of sweet perfume,
A few fleeting, transient moments,
Followed by another, and another, and another …
The written word captures the nuances of color,
In a frieze frame of pen and ink,
The merry flow of words,
In them the feelings are expressed,
But something somewhere remains unsaid,
We move on ……

A seamless sheet is spun,
With the wefts of here and now,
A testimony to us and ours,
Time has flown and swept us along,
In its inexorable winds of change,
It is invincible ahead of us all,
Never conquered, never vanquished.
It has led us to the end of our spool,
Eventually it’ll help us add to it,
Year after year & decade after decade,
Many more words will be weaved,
On the high tide of time,
And feelings will be expressed.
We move on ……


PS: This piece of poetry was written for & is dedicated to my senior batch at Symbiosis Institute of Business Studies (SIBM) - the Batch of 2006-08. You can also read the same entry (and more of other stuff!) at SIBM's official blog - http://www.sibm.net/blog.

The Spectator

A persistent knock of sorrows I hear,
On the dilapidated door of my life,
And everytime this door gets opened,
I am all but left in a dolorous state.

The dreams, the wishes, the hopes, the desires,
Are brutally squashed and savagely battered,
A feeling of despondency engulfs me,
And I long for a prompt arrival of death.

The days now drag by endlessly,
And the nights also just creep along,
The skies above remain dark and cloudy,
(Sunshine being only rare and transient).

Destiny is wreaking havoc with my existence,
With everything just falling to pieces,
And I look on as a mute spectator,
To this cruel game played by my fate.

Stranger In The Mirror

When I look at myself,
In the mirror on the wall,
My image always seems to ask me ...
"Who was the one I saw last fall,
And who is this person I'm seeing now?"

Maybe it's just an optical illusion,
Or maybe my image has gone insane,
For how can someone change so much,
It's something that is at best arcane.

But, on taking a closer look I notice,
That my image has hit the nail on it's head,
For nowhere do I see any hint of a smile,
And even the glimmer in my eyes is now dead.

My face looks like a leaf in autumn,
With all the mirth & laughter lost somewhere,
I look a pale shadow of my former self,
Wondering what went wrong & where.

And as I look at myself in the mirror,
A question rankles me in my mind,
A question for which I don't have an answer:
"Who is this Stranger in the Mirror?"